Summer Day In the Life of the Lanma ½ Characters
by Link and Luigi
Summary: A story where they're all eleven years younger than they should be!!!!!!! Super heroes, psychotic neighbors, water balloon fight and then a cooking contest. BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!


A Summer Day In the Life of the Little Lanma ½ Characters People

Let's all pretend that the Lanma characters have their curses and know each other when they are small children since this story takes place when they are all small children.  Meaning that they are all five…except Kuno…because he is six.  If anyone else is different ages then DIE and accept the fact that they will all be five except for Kuno who will be six.

One day, Mousse, Ryoga, Akane, Kuno, Shampoo, Kodachi, Ukyo and Ranma were sitting around the table sitting up straighter than they needed to be sitting up while drinking Kool-Aid.  But this is an alternate universe so they're all eleven years younger than they should be yet they know each other JUST fine.

While everyone was sitting there contently, Tendo was slithering quietly up like a snake towards the poor unsuspecting children.  He suddenly leaped up and grabbed Ranma and started rubbing him against his face.

"MUSTACHE RUB!!!" yelled Tendo knavishly as Ranma cried for help as everyone else laughed at his expense.  Then he placed Ranma down with his scratched face and grabbed Ryoga and gave him a mustache rub as well.  Then he followed suit to Mousse but Mousse shot a yo-yo at him and it knocked over a glass of Kool-Aid onto the white rug.  Tendo started to cry and ran away.

Then Kasumi walked in.  (She's all EIGHT and MATURE.)  "Oh my!" she said just like she usually does only sounded more high-pitched.  "And I just cleaned this rug too!  All of you, go out and play right now so I can clean this rug again!!"

"SNIFF!!" said everyone as they were punted outside.

"Mousse, this is all your fault!!" said Kuno.  "If it wasn't for you then we'd all still be inside vegetating instead of running around and getting fresh air and exercise like we should be doing!"

"…Sorry," said Mousse as he glanced over at Ranma and Ryoga who were rubbing their red and scratched faces.  "But he was going to give me a mustache rub!"

"Point well taken," said Kuno.

"Now what are we going to do for fun?!" yelled Akane suddenly.

Everyone stopped and started thinkin'.

All of a sudden, Kodachi ripped off her little dress to reveal that she was wearing a leotard underneath.  Then she skipped around Kuno while laughing and twirling her ribbon dancer.

Everyone just kind of watched her for a minute and then shrugged at each other.

"I KNOW!!!!!" yelled Ukyo as she grabbed Kodachi's dress and held it up.  "Let's play dress-up!!"

"Well, all girls already wear dress!" Shampoo observed.

"We'll have to put it on a BOY then!" said Akane.

"Well," said Ryoga, trying to get out of putting on a dress.  "Not Mousse since he already kind of looks like a girl and he's already wearing a dress so we wouldn't accomplish anything…"

Ryoga glanced at Mousse to see if he got the dis…but he didn't.

"And we can't put it on Ranma since he practically IS a girl!" he said.  The other girls nodded.  "And that leaves me and Kuno, but Kuno's a lot bigger than I am so he probably wouldn't fit into Kodachi's dress and he's already wearing a dress of his own so I guess that only leaves me!!"  Then he smiled stupidly.  Then paused.  "Wait, I mean…MOUSSE!!  No, RANMA!!"

"No Ryoga, you're logic makes sense!" said Ranma.

"HEY!!!" said Mousse suddenly.  "I do NOT look like a girl!!  And this is NOT a dress, it's a…um…ROBE."

"FORGET IT!!!" said Kodachi as she put her dress back on.  "Here I was TRYING to entertain you all but you weren't even watching me!  Some audience YOU are!"

Then they all started thinking again.

"Since I'm the babysitter, it's my obligation to come up with a game to entertain you all!!" Kuno declared.  "And I have decided on…hm…what's a fun game for some children?  I know!  Let's all be SUPER HEROES!!!"

Everyone just kind of had the dot dot dot response.

"THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!!!" yelled Ryoga suddenly.  "I WANNA PLAY!!  I'll be…um…"

"I'M SUPER MOUSSE!!!" Mousse declared.  "SUPER MOUSSE TO THE RESCUE!!!"

"I was going to be Super Ryoga though." Said Ryoga sadly.

"Tough," Mousse replied.  "Super Mousse sounds better than Super Ryoga anyway."

"I'm going to be Karate Turtle!" Akane said suddenly.

"Karate 'Turtle'?" asked Shampoo.

"Yes," Akane replied.  "I like Karate and I like turtles.  So I just put them together so I could be Karate Turtle!  Doesn't that sound cool?!"

"No," Shampoo replied truthfully.

"Help me think up a name, brother dear!" said Kodachi, hitting Kuno on the head with a bowling pin.

"One moment, twisted sister," Kuno replied.  "I'm trying to think up a name for myself…"

"Why not just be Rug Man?" asked Kodachi.

"Aha!" said Kuno.  "Of course!  Attention!  Attention everyone!  As of now, the Great Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan Elementry School, shall be henceforth be known as 'Rug Man' during this rousing game of Super Heroes!"

"Now help me think up a name!" demanded Kodachi.  Kuno stared at her for a minute.

"The Black Rose?" he suggested.  She hit him on the head with a bowling pin.

"I want something DIFFERENT." She said.  "I don't want everyone to know who I am right away!"

"Fine…um…" Kuno thought.  "Bowling Pin Girl…?  Ribbon Dancer Lady?  Powder Person?"

"Wait, stop there!" said Kodachi.  "Say that last one again."

"Powder Person."

"That's what I will be!" declared Kodachi.  "I will be POWDER PERSON!!!"

"I've got a good one!" said Ryoga suddenly.  "But…it's for Ranma.  You can be 'Shem' as in, you know, she and him?"

"…That's 'Shim'." Ranma corrected.

Ryoga paused.  "IT IS NOT!!!" he yelled.  "YOU'LL BE SHEM AND LIKE IT!!"

"I will NOT be Shem!!  And who says I'm even gonna take your stupid idea?!" Ranma yelled.  "What are you going to be anyway?  Pig Boy?  The Swell Swine?"

"Why would I be that?!" demanded Ryoga.

"Why would I be Shem?!"

"Because it's funny." Ryoga replied.

"I WILL BE SPATULA GIRL!!!" said Ukyo randomly.  Everyone stared at her as she stood there.  "Because…I have a giant spatula that I can hit the bad guys with!"

"Shampoo be 'Amazonia'." Said Shampoo.

"Shampoo, you blinded me with your creativity!!" said Mousse.

"You already blind Mousse." Shampoo pointed out.

"You DO care about me!" Mousse said as he went to hug Shampoo but he hugged a tree and stupidly thought it was Shampoo even though I don't think that she feels like bark.

"So Ranma and Ryoga, what are your names?" asked Kuno.

"I'm Bandana Boy!" Ryoga said.  "Cool huh?!"

"Um…yeah." Said Kuno.  "What about you Ranma?"

"I don't know yet…" Ranma started.

"But I thought you were gonna go with Shem!" Ryoga yelled.

"Shem?" thought Kuno out loud.  "Well it's better than 'Shim'."

"Kinda suits him, don't you think?" said Ryoga.

"Oh absolutely!!" Mousse agreed.

"Shampoo think so too!" Shampoo said with a nod.

"I mean, he definitely LOOKS like a Shem!" said Kuno.  "And he IS a Shem after all."

"It's Shim." Ranma corrected.

"DO NOT CORRECT ME!!" yelled Kuno.

"Well I'm still not being 'Shem'!  Cause I'm not a 'Shim'!  I just turn into a girl when I get wet!" Ranma complained.

"Making you a…" Ryoga started for him.  "Fill in the blank."

"A boy who turns into a girl!" Ranma said with a nod.  "I mean, I don't go around calling you a Pim or a Hig or whatever!"

"Of course not!!!" Ryoga yelled.  "I'm just a normal boy without some kind of freakish problem like YOU and MOUSSE and SHAMPOO and your DAD and I CERTAINLY don't turn into a pig!!"

"We didn't say that." Said Akane.

"Of course not!!" Ryoga yelled.

"Good thing she's really really dense." Said Ranma under his breath and with a sigh.

"Now that we all have our names we can begin our game!" Kuno said.  "We must first split up and destroy all the bad guys that we come across and report back here and tell me all the bad guys you have destroyed!!  The boys will go that way and the girls will go that way."  Then the boys walked off in one direction and the girls walked off in the other direction.   Kodachi remained standing there staring at Kuno.

"I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE BECAUSE I DON'T GET TO BE IN RANMA'S GROUP!!!" she yelled as she ripped off her dress again and began to frolic.

"No twisted sister!!" yelled Kuno.  "You'll catch your death without your dress!!"  Then he turned around.  "Oh bother!  We've lost our groups."

MEANWHILE!!!!

"Public enemy number one," said Ranma to Ryoga and Mousse as he looked around the corner at that stupid old lady who always splashes water on people.

"He looks like a normal little boy," said Mousse.

"I cringe at the mere sight of her," Ryoga said as a shiver ran up his spine.

"So it's settled," Ranma said.  "The first one we destroy is her," But then he paused and turned to Mousse.  "Little boy?!  Put your glasses on you idiot!"

"Oh," said Mousse as he pulled out his glasses and put them on.  Then he gasped.  "It's HER!!  That one who always splashes me with water and turns me into a duck when I'm walking along minding my own business…"

"Yes, we've already covered that," said Ranma.

"Now let's go and kill her!!" Ryoga yelled.  They all leaped out from around the corner while yelling their battle cries but before they could do anything, the lady splashed them all with water so they turned into their appointed…THINGS.

"Okay…" said Ranma as she stomped off and was followed by Mousse and Ryoga who were…a duck and a pig.  Then they got some hot water and turned back.

"We should have noticed that," said Mousse.

"She knew that we were going to try and attack her." Ryoga said.

"She's a lot tougher than we thought…" said Ranma.

"But how will we defeat her?" Mousse asked.  "She's so powerful!"

"Our attack is dead on but our defense could use some tightening," Ranma explained.  "So that means we need…"

"RAIN JACKETS!!!" said everyone at the same time.

LATER!!

Mousse, Ryoga and Ranma were darting down the street towards the lady wearing little yellow rain jackets and rain hats while also carrying Ryoga's umbrella.

They stood around the corner plotting what they had to do.

"We have to get her this time!" said Ranma, putting out his hand.  Ryoga and Mousse put their hands out too and they did some kind of little secretive handshake.  "Okay, no backing out this time!"

"That's easy for you to say!" said Mousse.  "I mean…I don't even have FANGS like Ryoga!  So I can't BITE her!  I just have a BEAK!!"  As he was saying this, a random person who sounded like Krillin walked by and kind of just looked confused and then he exploded cause he didn't REALLY sound like Krillin and that is a crime to random people in the background who don't have names, not sounding like Krillin and all.

"Well you've got your little hidden weapon thingys," said Ryoga.

They just went on complimenting each other in the background as Ranma plotted a little scheme to kill that stupid lady who is EVER so annoying and stupid.

Ranma turned around and looked at them.  "Was there any reason why we took the time at the beginning to choose our super hero names?" he asked.  "It's not like we've been calling each other that."

"Don't be silly, Shem." Said Ryoga, patting Ranma on the back.

"Is THAT what his name is?" Mousse said.  "Now I'll know what to call him."

"I AM NOT SHEM!!!" yelled Ranma.  "AND BESIDES, IT'S SHIM!!!"

Just then, the lady came up from behind them and splashed them all with water.  They all turned around and laughed at the lady.

"HA HA!!" laughed Ryoga.  "We're wearing rain jackets!!"

Since that lady never seems to SAY anything, she just splashed their faces with water and they turned their little Jusenkyo cursey curses.

"Okay, FINE!!" said Ranma.  "Let's just go after SOMEONE ELSE."  Then she stomped off followed by Mousse and Ryoga.  Then they splashed themselves with warm water and turned back into their normal selves again.

"We cannot defeat such a powerful enemy!!" declared Ryoga.

"Even the all powerful Super Mousse could not dent her defenses." Mousse observed.

"Fine, we'll just move onto public enemies number 2, 3, 4 and 5." Ranma said as he looked around the corner at a house that was on the slightest hill slant.  Yet, despite the fact that the hill was at about a three degree slant, there was a woman who looked as though she was about sixty outside pulling her kids around on a sled even though it was summer and there was no snow and her kids were wearing full winter garb.  And there was a guy pulling out each dandelion individually out of the ground even though there were about a thousand of them.

"Rosalie," Ryoga hissed.

"Larry," Mousse hissed along with him because they're not brothers.

"Carrina," Ryoga hissed back.

"Silas," Mousse finished the hissing.  Then they cackled diabolically as Ranma stared at them.

"Okay…" he said, turning back to the psychopathic family.

MEANWHILE!!!

"That game was so boring." Said Akane as she, the other girls and Kuno walked back in the Tendo Dojo.  "You guys want to play dolls?"

"Can we just snoop around in Ranma's room instead?" asked Ukyo.

"Why would you want to snoop around in Ranma's room?" Akane said, rolling her eyes.  She opened up one of her drawers and about a thousand dolls shot out of it like a pillar of water, only dolls.

"I, Tatewaki Kuno, have no interest in indulging myself in a game of dolls with you girls." Said Kuno in the feh tone.  "Why would I want to vegetate when I could be running around and exercising like I should be doing?  It's about a thousand degrees outside so why don't we just go swimming or play in the hose or have a water balloon fight?"

"Yeah!" said Kodachi excitedly.  "Let's have a water war!!"

"Shampoo no want to." Shampoo said, crossing her arms.  "It no fair."

But everyone ignored her and started filling up water balloons and water guns and attaching the sprinkler and finding their bathing suits or calling their moms to bring their bathing suits over.

MEANWHILE!!!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" yelled Mousse, Ryoga and Ranma as they ran around while being chased by Larry who had foam dripping from his bloody fangs while waving a rake and screaming at them.

"I'M CALLING THE POLICE!!!" yelled Rosalie who had Silas and Carrina each under one arm as she ran into the house while crying hysterically.

"GET BACK HERE!!!" screamed Larry.

"YEAH RIGHT!!!" they all yelled AT THE SAME TIME!!!

They all dove into a shed, slammed the door and pushed a bunch of heavy things against it.  Larry banged on the outside.

"What are we going to do?!" Ryoga yelled.

"Wait…" started Ranma.  "Why are we even running?  It's three against one and we're super heroes!!"

"But we're not REALLY super heroes!!" Mousse yelled.

"Yeah but uh…you're the Master of Hidden Weapons." Ranma tried.  "And Ryoga, you've got a bunch of little strange techniques that you learn here and there and as for me…I'm the greatest martial artist in the entire world so WE CAN BEAT HIM!!!"

"Humble Ranma." Said Ryoga.

"Actually, I'm not quite the master yet," Mousse confessed.  "I'm working on it though.  I like to call myself the 'Practitioner of Hidden Weapons'."

Ranma shrugged.  "Whatever." He said.

Suddenly, the door was hacked away by a giant axe.

"Why isn't this guy in jail?!" yelled Ryoga as they ran under Larry's legs and ran away.

"COME BACK HERE!!!" Larry yelled as if they would listen to him.

"Come on, we have to destroy him!" Ranma said, determined.

"Ranma, watch out!" Mousse yelled.

"But Larry's way back there…" started Ranma, looking behind him but he crashed into a pole.

"I wasn't talking about Larry." Mousse said.  "I was talking about the pole that you just crashed into."

"Come on, Mousse, with Ranma in dispose we must defeat Larry all by ourselves!" Ryoga said.  "You being the Practitioner of Hidden Weapons and me being the superior being I am then we should be just fine!!"

"Humble Ryoga," said Mousse, annoyed.

"All right, you use your hidden weapons to distract Larry and I'll kill him!!"

"But I want to kill him!!"

"Fine, I'll just beat him up and then we'll BOTH kill him!"

"YAY!!!" said Mousse happily but his happiness was short-lived because Larry had just come out of nowhere.  They knew this because they suddenly saw foam dripping from the sky.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" they yelled.

"WE HAVE TO DESTROY HIM MOUSSE!!!" yelled Ryoga.

"OKAY!!!" Mousse yelled.  They both struck dramatic fighting poses but then they noticed that Larry had just passed out because of the overly large amount of blood rushing to his head at a rapid pace in a short period of time.  The two non-brothers got retarded little veins and then they kicked Larry to release their anger.

Then they woke up Ranma and they decided that this was enough action for Super Mousse, Bandana Boy and Shem for one day.

LATER!!!

"Why hello Ranma, Ryoga and Mousse!" said Kasumi as the three boys walked into the house.  "The others are in the back yard right now about to start a water war.  I called your parents and they brought their bathing suits over."

She handed Ranma a bathing suit.  (It was a girl's kind…hehehe.) "Here's your bathing suit, Ranma."

Chuckle chuckle chuckle said Mousse and Ryoga.

Then Kasumi looked around.  "Oh my," she said.  "I just remembered!  Ryoga, when I called your house, your parents weren't home!  And when I called Mousse's house, they said that you didn't need a bathing suit!  Do you already have one?"

"No, I just find it pointless to own one." Mousse replied.

"Okay," said Kasumi obliviously.  "Ranma, go get changed into your bathing suit."

Ranma looked at Mousse and Ryoga who were still chuckling cruelly at his expense.  "Can't I have a boy's bathing suit?" he asked.

Kasumi laughed as if this were a joke.  "Now, now Ranma," she said.  "Don't you think you'd look really silly outside in a boy's bathing suit after you've gotten wet?"

"Can't I have the one without the little skirt then?!" Ranma pleaded.

"But I thought that was your favorite one." Kasumi said.

At this point, Ryoga and Mousse both splashed Ranma with water at the same time.

"There, now you won't feel silly!" said Ryoga.

"Thanks," said Ranma with an evil glare.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Okay, we're going to make a few rules clear." Said Kuno as all the girls stood in a line in front of him.  "For Shampoo, we have this designated bucket of warm water for her to jump into whenever her feline mind deems worthy.  Now, we're going to pick teams.  I'm the first captain but who will be the other one?"

"Girls!" said Kasumi as she came to the back door with Ranma, Ryoga and Mousse.  "…And Kuno!  Ranma, Ryoga and Mousse are here!"  Then she walked away.

"Pig-tailed girl!" said Kuno.

"Ranma!" said Shampoo happily.

"Shampoo!" Mousse yelled.

"Uh…" started Ranma.

"Ranma!" said Akane angrily.

"Akane!" Ranma yelled back.

"Ranma?" Kodachi asked looking around.

"Ranma," sighed Ukyo.

"SHAMPOO!!" Mousse yelled.

"Mousse!" Shampoo yelled angrily.

"Uh…Akane?" Ryoga said timidly.

"Ryoga?" Akane said.

"RYOGA!!" Ranma yelled.

"Pig-tailed Girl!" Kuno said.

"Kuno?" Ranma asked.

"RANMA?!" Kodachi yelled.

"Kodachi!" Kuno hushed her.

"Brother dear…" Kodachi hissed.

"Kids?" said Kasumi.

"Kasumi?" said everyone.

"I just wanted to tell you to play nice and to include Mousse and Shampoo because at some points they might feel left out." She said obliviously and then walked away.

"And treat Ryoga with the same respect that you treat Mousse and Shampoo." Ranma said.

"I'm not playing!!!" Ryoga yelled, throwing a temper tantrum.

"But Ryoga, it's so hot." Said Ranma.

"But I still don't want to play." Ryoga said, crossing his arms.

"Come on, Ryoga!" said Akane.  "Don't take Ranma's bait.  You can be MY partner!"

"Well…" Ryoga said.  "If you put it that way…"

"Okay, now everyone must pick a partner." Kuno said.  "I'll be with the Pig-Tailed Girl."

"Well I don't really want to be with you." Said Ranma.

So after a little while, everyone picked partners.  No one really wanted to be with Mousse or Shampoo because they didn't want to be at a strong disadvantage of keep having to return to the bucket and wait for them to turn back (as if it even took a long time but oh well) so they ended up together.  YAY!!  Mousse was happy but we can't say the same thing for Shampoo.

Kuno and Kodachi ended up on the same team, and you already know about Akane and Ryoga.  So that left Ukyo and Ranma!!  (Random?  Yes.)

"Hey Ranma, we're the only girl/girl team." Said Ukyo.

"Shut up." Said Ranma.

"Shampoo never get what she want," said Shampoo with a sigh.

"Well I'm glad I get to be your partner!" said Mousse.

"Who should we go after first, twisted sister?" asked Kuno.

"I'm gonna go after Akane because she stole my beloved Ranma." Kodachi replied.

"Remember, don't hit me Akane." Ryoga told Akane.  "I didn't bring my bathing suit so I don't want to get wet."

"We're on the same team, Ryoga." Akane pointed out.

"Ready…set…BEGIN!!!" Kuno declared.

Everyone ran off in different directions but Shampoo immediately turned around and pelted Mousse with a water balloon.  Then she waved to him and ran off to go and hit someone else as he was left to hobble over to the designated little bucket of warm water.  He jumped in, turned back into a human and was just about to jump out when he stopped and paused.

"That's just great!" he said.  "Look at me!  I am naked!  Now what am I supposed to do?  No one is getting my clothes for me!  They're so greedy!"

Then he just sat there and pouted.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Brother-dear," said Kodachi.  "Why are you continuously jumping in front of every single water balloon that I throw?  Aren't we on the same team?"

"Yes but I can't let you hit Akane Tendo." Kuno replied.  "I can, however, let you hit this foul girl who has decided to take the Pig Tailed Girl away from me.  You may also hit Ryoga."

"What?!" Ryoga yelled.  "I don't have my bathing suit!"

"If you're playing then you have to assume that you'll get wet." Kuno said.

"Besides, I don't want to hit him." Kodachi said.

"But I do!" Kuno declared as he fired water balloon after water balloon at Ryoga as Ryoga ran around in circles while covering his head and yelling for Akane.  Akane came around the corner and threw a water balloon at Kuno.

Kuno turned around.  "Akane Tendo…" he said.

"Haha!" Akane said.  "Gotcha!"  Then she grabbed Ryoga's hand and ran off.

"Brother-dear, you were hit." Kodachi observed.

"I know that." Kuno replied.  "'Tis but a mere water stain that will dry out but our love shall last forever."

Kodachi paused.  "Uh…yeah." She said slowly.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Mousse, why you just sit in bucket?" Shampoo asked as she came around the corner.

"Because you hit me with a water balloon and now I'm naked!" he replied.

"So?!" Shampoo yelled.

"Well I don't want you to see me naked until we're married!" Mousse explained just as Ranma and Ukyo came around the corner hurling a water balloon at Shampoo, turning her into a cat.

"Direct hit!" laughed Ukyo.

"Mousse!" yelled Ranma.  "You can't just sit in the bucket!  That's not fair!  How am I suppose to hit you when you're just sitting there?!"

"If you weren't so greedy then I wouldn't have to sit here all day!!" Mousse yelled.

"How…wait…what?" Ranma asked.

"You won't even stop playing the game for one second to get my clothes for me!" Mousse replied.

"But you said before that you don't need a bathing suit." Ranma pointed out.

"But that doesn't mean that I don't need clothes." Mousse answered, crossing his arms.  "It would be just like you wearing a boy's bathing suit."

"Just get out of the bucket, nobody cares!" Ranma argued.  "Shampoo can't turn back into a human unless you get out of the bucket!"

Suddenly, Ryoga (or more commonly known as P-Chan in his pig state) came dashing around the corner towards the bucket at top speed.  When he saw Mousse sitting there and Shampoo waiting in line he started bouncing up and down anxiously.

"Mousse, you're causing a traffic jam!!" yelled Ukyo.

"You better hurry up and get out before everyone else comes back here and sees you naked." Ranma said.

"Can't you just get my clothes for me?!" Mousse yelled.

"NO!!" Ranma yelled.

Finally, Ryoga couldn't wait any longer so he just jumped into the bucket along with Mousse and turned back into a human.  "Why didn't you just get out of the bucket?!" he yelled.

"I'd like to see YOU get out of it!" Mousse yelled.

"I will!" Ryoga answered as he looked around.  Then he paused.  "Just as soon as someone gets my clothes."

"See?" Mousse said.  "They're so greedy!  My clothes are right there and they won't even get them for me!"

Finally, Shampoo figured she would just hop in and hop out so she hopped in and was just about to hop out when she realized that she wasn't going to do much hoping seeings how the three of them were now all stuck in the bucket.

And, upon seeing a naked girl, blood spooed out of Ryoga's nose.

"Ah!!" Ryoga yelled.  "My nose is bleeding!!"

"Shampoo no want be in here!" Shampoo yelled.  "Shampoo in small bucket with two naked boy, blood and…Mousse!"

Meanwhile, Ukyo and Ranma were standing there with retarded little drops.

"See Mousse?" said Ranma.  "You can't even get out now even if you wanted to."

MEANWHILE!!!

"Hey, where's Ryoga?" said Akane as she walked over to the mound of Ryoga's clothes.  

Kuno smiled.  "I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan Elementary School, have vanquished him." He said.  "And the coward ran off so fast I didn't even see him leave."

"Oh," said Akane, looking around.  Then she looked down at his clothes and started thinking for once.  "He must not have wanted to get his clothes wet."

"But they are wet." Kodachi observed.

MEANWHILE!!!

"Stop being so greedy, Ranma, and get me my clothes!!" Mousse demanded.

"Why do you keep calling me greedy?!" yelled Ranma.

"Because that's what you are!" Mousse replied.  "Greedy!  G-R-E…um… D-E!  GREEDY!!"

"Well then I'm not going to get your clothes for you!" Ranma threatened.

"It's not like you were GOING to!!" Mousse yelled back.

"You're right, I wasn't," Ranma confessed.  Just then, Akane walked around the corner with Ryoga's mound of clothes.

"Ryoga, what are you doing in the designated Shampoo/Mousse bucket for when they get wet?" she asked, dropping his clothes down next to the bucket.

"Staying warm." Ryoga replied.  "But I'm stuck."

"Oh." Akane said knavishly.  She looked around and noticed Mousse's mound of clothes and Shampoo's mound of clothes.  "You guys must have turned into animals.  It's obvious with the big mounds of clothes scattered around the yard.  But why were RYOGA'S clothes there after Kuno threw a water balloon filled with cold water at him?"

"Because I didn't want them to get wet." Ryoga replied.

"I knew it." Said Akane, snapping her fingers.  "Well, I'm gonna go find Kuno, Kodachi and Ukyo and DRENCH them!!"  Oh right, we forgot to tell you that Ukyo ran off because she was getting bored with just standing there like a knave.

"When are you guys gonna get out of there?!" Ranma yelled randomly.

"Haven't Shampoo say we stuck?!" Shampoo yelled.  "Why else would Shampoo stay here with two naked boy when one is Mousse?!"

"Oh," said Ranma.  "I thought you guys were just kidding when you said that the first six times.  So I'll just pull you all out!"

"But I don't want Shampoo to see me naked!" Mousse yelled.

"Yeah and I don't want to see any girls naked!!" Ryoga yelled too.  "And I don't want any girls to see ME naked!"

"And Shampoo no want see Mousse naked." Shampoo said.  Then she paused and looked as though the mere thought of that made her cringe.  …Which it did.

"Okay…" said Ranma slowly, trying to contemplate the easiest way to do this.  "I'll just splash you all with cold water and then you can all get out and then get dressed."  She then accumulated a bucket of cold water and splashed them all but nothing happened.

"I'M CURED!!!!" yelled Ryoga.

"No, we sit in warm water!" Shampoo yelled.

Ryoga paused.  "Aww…" he said sadly.

"Then I'll just have to leak all the water out of the bucket." Ranma said, kicking the bucket over.  The three poor innocent souls in the bucket yelled in terror as they landed with a THUD on the ground.

"Shampoo, rather than crying because of the immense pain I am going through after hitting my head on the ground, I'll be happy because you're on top of me!" said Mousse obliviously.

"Um…I'm not Shampoo." Said Ryoga.

"WHAT?!" Mousse yelled, pulling out his glasses.  "Then I guess I'll cry because of the immense pain I am going through after hitting my head on the ground."  Then he…you guessed it!  STARTED CRYING!!!  YAY!!!

"SHUT UP!!!" Ranma yelled, splashing them all with cold water so they turned into their appointed animals.

They all happily came out of the bucket and danced their little 'I'M FREE!!' dances and were JUST about to splash themselves with warm water when Akane came around the corner.

"P-CHAN!!!" she shrieked, running over and grabbing Ryoga.  "I've missed you so much!"  Then she looked around.  "Hey!  Where's Ryorga?"

"You always seem to be incredibly happy about finding P-Chan and then wonder where Ryoga is at the exact same time." Ranma pointed out.

"So?" Akane said.

Just then, Kasumi came to the door.  "Time for lunch!" she called.

"YAY!!!!" said everyone as they came out of nowhere and all ran inside.  Akane started wondering where P-Chan ran off to but she was happy that Ryoga came back a second later.

"So what do you all want?" asked Kasumi.

"You mean it's not already made?" Ukyo said since she hasn't said anything for a while.

"Nope!" said Kasumi, looking way too happy.

"I make lunch!" said Shampoo, standing up.

"No, I'LL make lunch!" Ukyo argued.  "My Okonomiyaki can beat your stupid ramen any day!"

"Say that again!" Shampoo yelled.

"That's all right you two, I'LL make lunch!" Kodachi said, coming in between them both.  "I promise I won't put anything in it this time."

"Don't worry you kids, I'll take care of it." Kasumi said.

"As long as Akane's not cooking." Ranma said.

"Well then!" said Akane, standing up as well.  "I think I WILL make lunch just because of that!!"  Then all the girls started arguing in the background as the guys just kind of sat there.

"What about you, Mousse?" asked Ryoga.  "Don't you cook too?"

"No, I wash dishes." Mousse replied.  "Do you cook?"

"Only on an open fire…and not very good either." Ryoga replied.  He rolled up his sleeve to reveal that his arm had a red streak on it.  "I burnt my arm last time."

"What about you, Ranma?" asked Mousse.

"I don't do anything by myself." Ranma replied.  Then the three turned to Kuno who was just sitting there looking like a foolish knave, but in a GOOD way.

"I have a personal cook." Kuno replied.  "And besides, my sister thoroughly enjoys cooking all by herself.  However, she often puts all kinds of things in the food that most people would not enjoy eating."

"Uh huh." Said everyone else.

TEN MINUTES LATER!!!

All the girls flung the door open to the kitchen and walked in each holding four plates of food.  (Kasumi wasn't there because she exploded.)

"Pick which one you like the best!" said Kodachi.

"We made out these charts and you have to score it on a scale of one to ten, ten being the best!" Ukyo said, shoving little score sheets in all of the boy's faces.

Each of the guys received four plates but they were all color-coded but the girls refused to tell them whose was whose.  There were also little signs on each one with numbers on them.

The boys each took one with the sign with the number one on it.

IF YOU ARE CONFUSED ON WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THEN YOU MUST DIE!!!!!

But here's what's going on:

Green Plate #1 (Akane's plate for Mousse)

Green Plate #2 (Akane's plate for Ryoga)

Green Plate #3 (Akane's plate for Kuno)

Green Plate #4 (Akane's plate for Ranma)

Pink Plate #1 (Shampoo's plate for Ryoga)

Pink Plate #2 (Shampoo's plate for Kuno)

Pink Plate #3 (Shampoo's plate for Ranma)

Pink Plate #4 (Shampoo's plate for Mousse)

Blue Plate #1 (Ukyo's plate for Kuno)

Blue Plate #2 (Ukyo's plate for Ranma)

Blue Plate #3 (Ukyo's plate for Mousse)

Blue Plate #4 (Ukyo's plate for Ryoga)

Black Plate #1 (Kodachi's plate for Ranma)

Black Plate #2 (Kodachi's plate for Mousse)

Black Plate #3 (Kodachi's plate for Ryoga)

Black Plate #4 (Kodachi's plate for Kuno)

There.  Now if you don't understand it then you are an idiot.

So everyone took their first plate.  (Yes, we will wait for you to go back and check.  Pause pause pause…you're back?  GOOD!!!)

"Mine doesn't look edible." Said Mousse.  "For looks, I give it a zero."

"HEY!!!" yelled Akane.

"You're not supposed to tell them whose is whose!!" said Ukyo, elbowing Akane.

So then everyone took a bite of the food that was placed in front of them.

"YUM!!"

"YUM!!"

"YUM!!"

"ARGH!!  I'M FULL!!!"

"What's wrong with my cooking?!" Akane yelled, stomping over to Mousse.

"I don't know." Mousse replied.  "But something horrible."

"I thought this food on the black plate was good." Said Ranma.  But then he paused and suddenly looked as though he was suffering as he fell to the ground in the fetal position.  "Can't…move…"

"HA HA HA HA HA!!!" Kodachi laughed as she ripped off her little dress and laughed diabolically at Ranma's expense.

"I find this blue plated special rather partial to my liking." Kuno said, taking another bite.

"The pink plate is good too." Ryoga commented.

"YAY!!" said Shampoo and Ukyo.

"I think…I'm going to die." Mousse said, holding his stomach and falling over, joining Ranma in the fetal position.

"All right, now you take you number two plates!" Shampoo said with horseshoe eyes.

When Ryoga received the green plate, he paused and looked around.  Then he looked at Akane who was waiting eagerly for him to take a bite while staring right at him.  He would have swore under his breath but his parents told him NEVER to swear.

"Go ahead!" said Akane.  "Take a bite!  I want to see your face light up after you eat it!"

"Oh…waaaaa…" Ryoga said, picking up his fork.

"NO RYOGA!!!" Mousse yelled.  "IT'S NOT WORTH IT!!!"  He looked at the plate in front of him, the black plate, and without thinking, took many bites of it.  "Must…get foul taste…out of my mouth…"

"Uh…that's the black plate." Ryoga said.

"It has to be better than the GREEN plate that you're going to eat." Mousse said.  Ryoga glanced over at Ranma who still hadn't moved and when he went to look back at Mousse, he saw him on the ground in the SAME position that Ranma was in.

"Oh well." Said Ryoga.

"Quite tasty." Kuno said, taking another bite of the pink plate.

"You like?" Shampoo said happily.

"I like it very much." Kuno replied.

"Ranma, why aren't you eating my food?!" Ukyo demanded, kicking Ranma who was all…unconscious.

Just then, Kasumi walked in.  "Are you all enjoying?" she asked but when she opened her horseshoe eyes, she realized that two boys were unconscious, one boy was happily eating out of both the pink and the blue plate, one boy was ABOUT TO EAT AKANE'S FOOD, one girl was kicking an unconscious kid, one girl was laughing diabolically, one girl was watching another attentively and the last girl seemed perfectly normal and happy.

"Oh my." She said.  "What happened here?"

Just then, Tendo walked in knavishly.  "About a half an hour left until I'm going to take you all home!" he announced and then walked away to hide under his bed.

"Why don't you all go outside and play?" she suggested.

"But I'm not quite finished yet," said Kuno.

"I said…GO OUTSIDE!!!" Kasumi yelled, pointing towards the door.  Everyone quickly got up and hurried outside because they feared the wrath of Kasumi, something that few thought even existed but if you cross her… oh LORD, you better be careful.

Then she picked up Mousse and Ranma by their collars and tossed them outside and they landed with a plot and a plop.  You can decide who went 'PLOT!!' and who went 'PLOP!!' since you should use your imagination once and a while.

"I will be the supervisor of whatever rousing game you all decide to play but I wish not to take part." Kuno said, sitting down in between Mousse and Ranma who were both imbedded in the ground face first so they looked like little stars.

"Let's play house!" said Akane.

"YEAH!!!" said all the other girls.

"Wait!" said Ryoga.  "I don't want to play house!  How about we play cowboys and Indians instead?!"

"Ryoga, we're GIRLS!!" said Kodachi.

"I know, let's take a vote." Said Ukyo.  "If you want to play house then raise your hand."  All the girls raised their hands.  "Now if you want to play cowboys and Indians by yourself, Ryoga, you can but I doubt you'll have much fun."

"It be fun play with us, Ryoga!" said Shampoo.

"Now we will assign roles." Said Akane.  "I'll be the mommy."

"I'll be the big sister." Said Ukyo.

"And I'm the baby." Kodachi declared.

"Shampoo be sister too." Shampoo said.

"There can't be TWO sisters!" Ukyo argued.  "You can be the DAD."

"But Ryoga has be dad." Shampoo said, pointing to Ryoga.

"Fine you can be our pet then." Ukyo replied.

"Shampoo no want be cat!!" Shampoo argued.

"I just said PET!!" Ukyo replied.  "You can be a DOG or something."

"Okay," Shampoo said.  "Shampoo be dog."

"So I guess you're being the dad then, Ryoga." Said Akane to Ryoga.

"Yeah…I guess so." He said.  _"I'm the dad and Akane's the mom!" _he thought.  _"That means we're married!  Is she…secretly asking this?"  _"YES!!  SHE IS!!  SHE IS ASKING THIS!!!"

Suddenly, Kuno walked over and pushed Ryoga out of the way.

"I was bored with just sitting over there." He said.  "I have decided that I will play the role of the father and you, Ryoga, can be the troubled teenager."

"What?" Ryoga said as the sound of glass shattering was heard as he turned into stone.

MEANWHILE!!!

Mousse and Ranma had somehow willed up enough strength to pull their heads out of the ground and face each other.

"Was it…Akane's cooking?" Mousse asked.

"No, I didn't eat it." Ranma replied.  "It must have been Kodachi's."

"How long will it last?" Mousse whined.

"I don't know," Ranma answered.  "But in the meantime, let's watch them play house."

And then they gathered up enough strength to turn their heads and watch the others frolic like knaves.

"Welcome home honey!!" said Akane as Kuno pretended to open a door.  She ran over and hugged him as he stood there in bliss.  "Did you have a nice day at work?"

"Mommy, I'm troubled." Said Ryoga, tapping Akane on the shoulder.  "Will you hug me?"

"Okay, my troubled son." Said Akane as she enveloped Ryoga in a hug and now he was standing there in bliss whereas Kuno was steaming with jealousy.

"Fine!" he yelled.  "I didn't want to play anyway!!"  Then he stomped back over to his post in between Mousse and Ranma.

"Now what are we going to do without at dad?!" Ukyo yelled.

"I guess we're going to have to put all of our children up for adoption," said Akane with a sigh.

"No mom!!" yelled Ryoga.  "I need another hug."

"Okay, son." Said Akane, hugging him.  Then she paused.  "I KNOW!!!  I'll marry you and YOU'LL be the dad and then you won't be troubled anymore and we won't have to put our kids up for adoption and get rid of our faithful dog."

"Fluffy!" Shampoo whispered.  "My name is Fluffy!"

"Okay, Akane!!" yelled Ryoga.  "I WILL MARRY YOU!!!"

"YAY!!" said Akane happily.  "Now let's go get married!  Then we can have another baby.  That way, we can replace you since you're the daddy now."

"This is starting to not make very much sense." Said Kodachi.  "BABY WANT ATTENTION!!!"  Then she tossed a bowling pin at Akane but Ryoga leapt in front of it.

"OW!!" he yelled.  "Wife, I need a hug."

"Okay Husband." Said Akane, hugging him.

MEANWHILE!!!

"I'M the husband!!" Kuno mumbled to himself.  "I want to go back over and join the game but I can't LOOK like I want to or else I'd look dumb and immature."  He looked at Ranma and Mousse who were just…lying there.  They were moving slightly now but not enough to pull themselves out of the spot in which Kasumi had tossed them.  "Do YOU guys want to play?!"

"Not really," Ranma replied.

"Do we look like we're in any condition to play anyway?!" Mousse demanded.

"I don't know," Kuno said, rolling his eyes.  "You'll be hugged."

"Why would I want to be hugged by Akane?" Mousse and Ranma both said at the SAME TIME!!!

MEANWHILE!!!

"Please wife, hug me again!" Ryoga yelled, opening his arms as Akane jumped into them and hugged him.  "This game his so realistic!  We're just like a REAL married couple!"

"I don't think we're giving enough love to our children." Said Akane.  "Maybe we should hug them."

"But…I'm the husband!" Ryoga stuttered as he watched Akane go over and hug Kodachi and Ukyo.

"Why don't you hug our dog?" Akane suggested.

Just then, Kuno walked over with Mousse and Ranma under each arm.  "Hello Akane!" he said.  "It's me, Brother!  I'm their uncle.  These are my two sick and weakly sons."  Then he dropped them on the ground.  "It's been so long, sister!  I need a welcome hug!"

"Welcome home brother!" Akane said happily as she hugged Kuno, all too into this game.

"Shampoo, I'm really a weak and sickly dog!" said Mousse.  "Please hug me!"

Shampoo scoffed at Mousse.  "No!" she said.  "I only hug Ranma!"  Then she crawled over to Ranma and hugged him while barking.

"But Shampoo!" Mousse whined.  "I'm so weak and sickly!"

Akane walked over to Mousse.  "You poor weak and sickly nephew of mine!" she said, hugging him.

"No, I'm a DOG and I don't want you to hug me!!" Mousse yelled.  Just then, Ryoga walked over.

"I want a hug, wife." He said.  "Now.  And as the man of the household, what I say goes so HUG ME!!!"  He opened his arms and waited for Akane to jump into them again.

"I wear the pants in this family and I say that you get no hugs from me until you hug our ENTIRE family!" Akane said, shaking her finger knavishly at Ryoga.  "That INCLUDES my brother and his weak and sickly son and his weak and sickly dog."

"But wife…" started Ryoga.

"Don't 'but wife' me or I'll divorce you!" Akane threatened.

"Wh…wh…what?!" Ryoga yelled, taking a few steps backwards and looking all appalled.  "NO!!  DON'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT!!!"

"Then hug our family!" she said.  "Show them that you love them!"

Before Ryoga could argue anymore, Tendo came outside.  "It's time to go home now!" he yelled.  Ryoga wiped his forehead.

"Hug me, Akane!" Kuno said.

"No way!" Akane yelled.  "We're not playing anymore!"

Then everyone ran inside to get ready to leave, leaving Mousse and Ranma out there, both almost able to walk to some extent.  Then Tendo came outside and grabbed them both and tossed them into the car that he had accumulated when no one was looking.

They dropped off Ukyo first just because she's dumb and we don't know why we even included her in our story.  Her house was shaped like a spatula though.

Oh and we forgot to tell you that Tendo left Ranma and Akane at home with Kasumi, the mature eight year old.

"Kuno, Kodachi, where do you two live?" asked Tendo.

"Right there!" they both said.

"WOW!!" said everyone else as Kuno and Kodachi left and went into their house and died.  But then they came back to life because they're the bomb and we lurve them unlike Ash and Trowa.

"Here's the Cat Café." Said Tendo.

"Shampoo no live in Cat Café." Shampoo said.

"Well, go there anyway." Said Tendo as he punted Shampoo out the door.  Then the only people left were Mousse and Ryoga!!  YAY!!  THEY DON'T LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT BROTHERS!!!

Tendo had previously known where Ryoga lives because he's a freak.  So he drove to his house and stopped at the front door.  He knew that Ryoga was directionally challenged and even if he had dropped him off in his front yard, Ryoga would somehow end up in Greenland.  So he walked Ryoga to the front door and knocked on it.

Ten minutes later, he heard a voice from inside calling "I FOUND IT!!!" and then a short pause and then not much after that a "NEVER MIND!!  IT'S JUST THE BATHROOM AGAIN!!"

Tendo decided that he'd just open the door.  So he did.  And he saw two people who looked EXACTLY like Ryoga only taller and one had long hair and was wearing pink.

"You must be Ryoga's parents." He said.

"Why yes, we are." They said, suddenly just STOPPING and BEING there in front of him.

"Ryoga was very good ALL day!" Tendo continued.  "But before I leave him with you, I will tell you just a few things.  He's not scratched up because of me, he's not wet because of me and that burn mark on his arm was already there."

"You're wet!!" said Ryoga's Dad.  "That means…YOU'RE CURED!!!"

"REALLY?!" Ryoga yelled excitedly.

"LET'S FIND OUT!!!" yelled Ryoga's Mom as she pulled out a bucket of water and splashed him with it but alas, he turned into a pig.

"Oh." Said Ryoga's Dad.  "Maybe not."

"Well uh…I'm going to leave now." Said Tendo as he left.

He got in the car and looked at Mousse to ask him for directions to see that he was indulged in making fists and moving his legs around a lot to regain the feeling in them.

"Um…okay." He said slowly.  "So Mousse, I know you live somewhere on this street so just tell me which house is yours."

"Okay!" said Mousse, looking out the window.  "THAT'S IT!!!"  Tendo stopped the car abruptly and the two got out.  Tendo rang the doorbell and two people who DID NOT look like Mousse AT ALL came to the door.

"You must be Mousse's parents." Said Tendo.

"Not again!" said the person who sounded like Krillin.  "Mousse, your house is next door.  I know our house has the same design as yours but we painted our house bright orange with vivid green polka dots just so you would figure out that your house is the plain white one!!  SO PUT YOUR GLASSES ON!!!"

Mousse pulled out his glasses and put them on.  "Oh!" he said.  "This isn't my house!  Mine's the white one."

"I know," said the Krillinish person.  "I just said that."  Then Tendo and Mousse went next door to the white house and the Krillinish people exploded because they only pretended to sound like Krillin so they could escape their fate but we found out.

Tendo knocked on the door and someone who looked just like Mousse came to the door.

"You must be Mousse's mother," said Tendo.

"No," said the person.

"Oh really?" Tendo said, looking back at Mousse who shook his head.

"I'm Mousse's FATHER." Said the Mousse-like person.  "You can call me Rogaine.  This is Mousse's mother, Gel."  Then someone who looked just like Mousse only had eyelashes on her glasses and was wearing pink appeared at the front door.

"Um…okay." Said Tendo.  "Well, if for any reason Mousse doesn't have full feeling in any of his appendages, it's not my fault and he's not wet because of me and that stain on his dress…"

"ROBE," said the entire Mousse family.

"Yeah whatever, but that's not my fault either."

"BYE!!" said the Mousse family as they slammed the door right on his face so his nose broke and then he died.  YAY!!

THE END!!!


End file.
